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Author: Kay Stonecypher

forgiving others as a step toward healing and freedom

Forgiving Others: How Jesus Redefines Forgiveness

Written by Kay Stonecypher on . Posted in Resources, Sermon Highlights. No Comments on Forgiving Others: How Jesus Redefines Forgiveness

This week’s teaching explored how forgiving others is central to following Jesus and living out our faith in everyday life. Moving from receiving God’s forgiveness to extending it to others can feel difficult—but it’s where freedom, healing, and transformation begin.

This Week’s Sermon: Forgiveness

Key Takeaways

  • Forgiving others begins with recognizing our own need for forgiveness.
  • Jesus calls us not just to receive grace, but to extend it.
  • Unforgiveness can lead to bitterness and isolation.
  • God’s forgiveness toward us becomes the source of forgiving others.
  • Taking even a small first step toward forgiving others matters.

Sermon Highlights: Forgiving Others

Forgiveness sounds like a beautiful idea—until it becomes personal.

It’s easy to talk about grace in theory. But when someone has hurt you deeply, forgiving others can feel almost impossible. The pain is real. The memory lingers. And letting go can feel like losing something you’re owed. That tension is exactly where this week’s teaching meets us.

Big Idea of This Week’s Teaching

Following Jesus means moving from simply receiving forgiveness to actively forgiving others. Forgiving others isn’t optional or secondary in the Christian life—it’s at the very heart of it.

Key Scriptures

  • Matthew 22:35–40
    Jesus summarizes the entire law as loving God and loving others, setting the foundation for forgiving others as an expression of love.
  • The Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9–13)
    Jesus teaches us to pray, “forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors,” directly linking receiving forgiveness with forgiving others.
  • Luke 15:11–32 (The Parable of the Lost Son)
    This story shows both God’s extravagant forgiveness and the danger of withholding forgiveness from others.

1. Forgiving Others Begins with Humility

In the Old Testament, forgiveness is primarily something God does. But Jesus expands that idea in a powerful way—calling us into forgiving others.

In the Lord’s Prayer, there’s a moment that can feel uncomfortable:
“forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”

That phrase forces us to pause. It reminds us that we are not above anyone else. We all carry “debts”—our own failures, mistakes, and brokenness. Forgiving others begins when we honestly recognize how much we ourselves have been forgiven. When we see our own need clearly, it softens our hearts.

“I don’t just receive forgiveness—I provide forgiveness.”

2. Forgiving Others Flows from God’s Grace

In Luke 15, Jesus tells the story of a father who runs toward his lost son with compassion and joy. It’s a powerful picture of how God responds to us. But the story doesn’t stop there. The older brother struggles to celebrate. He’s bitter, resentful, and focused on what feels unfair.

That contrast reveals something important: receiving forgiveness is one thing, but forgiving others is another step entirely. Forgiving others becomes possible when we allow God’s grace to truly sink in. When we experience God’s forgiveness deeply, it doesn’t stay contained—it begins to overflow into how we treat others.

3. Forgiving Others Is Where We Often Struggle

As C. S. Lewis once said, “Forgiveness is a lovely idea, until we have some to forgive.”

That’s where this becomes real. Forgiving others isn’t easy. It may involve people who have caused deep hurt, disappointment, or betrayal. And choosing to forgive doesn’t mean pretending the pain didn’t matter. It means choosing not to let that pain define your future.

“Forgiveness is a lovely idea, until we have some to forgive.”

When we refuse forgiving others, we can become like the older brother—stuck in judgment, carrying resentment that isolates us. But when we take steps toward forgiving others, we begin to experience freedom.

4. Forgiving Others Is a Step Toward Freedom

Forgiving others doesn’t always happen all at once. Sometimes it starts with something small—simply being honest with God about how hard it feels. Sometimes it begins with naming the person and asking for help. But even that first step matters.

Forgiving others is not about minimizing what happened. It’s about releasing the hold it has on your heart. It’s about trusting God to bring justice, healing, and restoration in ways we cannot. And over time, forgiving others opens the door to peace.

Practicing This Week

  • Take a quiet moment and ask God to bring to mind someone you may need to forgive.
  • Be honest with God about your feelings—nothing needs to be filtered.
  • Say the person’s name in prayer, even if it feels difficult.
  • Tell God you want to begin forgiving others, even if you’re not fully there yet.
  • Take one small step this week toward releasing resentment.

Questions for Reflection

  • Who comes to mind when you think about forgiving others?
  • What makes forgiving others difficult for you right now?
  • How does recognizing your own need for forgiveness change your perspective?
  • Where might God be inviting you to take a first step?
  • What would freedom look like on the other side of forgiving others?

Jesus invites us into a different way of living—a way marked by grace, healing, and freedom. Forgiving others is not about getting it perfect. It’s about taking a step toward the same grace God has already shown us. You don’t have to do it all at once. You’re not alone in the process. And God is already at work in your heart.

Hands folded in quiet reflection showing how to pray the Lord's Prayer with intention

How to Pray the Lord’s Prayer: A Simple Daily Practice with Jesus

Written by Kay Stonecypher on . Posted in Sermon Highlights. No Comments on How to Pray the Lord’s Prayer: A Simple Daily Practice with Jesus

Many of us were taught to pray whatever comes to mind, but Jesus gave his followers something more grounded and formative. This teaching explores how to pray the Lord’s Prayer as a daily rhythm that reshapes how we see God, ourselves, and the world.

This Week’s Sermon: Teach Us to Pray

Key Takeaways

  • How to pray the Lord’s Prayer begins with understanding that Jesus gave it as a daily practice, not just a one-time recitation
  • Structured prayer can ground us when our thoughts and emotions feel scattered or reactive
  • The Lord’s Prayer helps reorder our priorities: loving God first, then loving others
  • Each line of the prayer forms us over time, shaping how we think, trust, and respond to life
  • Praying this consistently can bring peace, clarity, and deeper connection with God

Sermon Highlights: How to Pray the Lord’s Prayer

If you’ve ever felt unsure about how to pray, you’re not alone. Many of us were taught that prayer should be spontaneous—just say whatever comes to mind. And while that can be meaningful, it can also be inconsistent, reactive, and sometimes a little scattered.

This week’s teaching invited us into something both ancient and surprisingly practical: learning how to pray the Lord’s Prayer as a daily rhythm that shapes our lives over time.

Big Idea of This Week’s Teaching

Praying the Lord’s Prayer is not about repeating empty words. It’s about allowing Jesus’ own prayer to form your mind, anchor your day, and guide your relationship with God.

Key Scriptures

  • Matthew 6:9–13 — Jesus teaches his disciples a specific prayer, giving them words to use rather than vague instructions
  • Luke 11:1–4 — When asked how to pray, Jesus responds by offering this same structured prayer
  • Matthew 26:39 — Jesus himself lives out the prayer, surrendering to the Father’s will in a moment of deep trial

1. How to pray the Lord’s Prayer as a daily rhythm

One of the most powerful ideas in this teaching is that Jesus likely grew up with structured, repeated prayers said multiple times a day. These prayers shaped how he thought, how he related to God, and how he saw the world.

When his disciples asked, “Teach us to pray,” Jesus didn’t dismiss that structure—he gave them a new one. This matters because many of us rely only on spontaneous prayer, and while that has value, it can also reflect whatever mood we’re in. Structured prayer brings us back to what is always true, even when we feel off-center.

Praying the Lord’s Prayer is less about saying the right words and more about becoming the kind of person those words shape

Learning how to pray the Lord’s Prayer means letting it become part of your daily rhythm—morning, midday, evening—so it can gently reorient your heart again and again.

2. How to pray the Lord’s Prayer by starting with relationship

The prayer begins with “Our Father.”

This was a radical shift. Instead of addressing God with distant formality, Jesus invites us into intimacy. The word he used carries the sense of closeness, like a child with a loving parent.

And then comes “in heaven”—not as a faraway place, but as a reminder that God is both above us and all around us. As close as the air we breathe, yet beyond our control. So when we begin learning how to pray the Lord’s Prayer, we start by remembering who God is: close, loving, present, and powerful. That alone can change how we enter the rest of our day.

3. How to pray the Lord’s Prayer by aligning with God’s priorities

The first half of the prayer focuses entirely on God:

  • Hallowed be your name
  • Your kingdom come
  • Your will be done

This is about re-centering our lives around what matters most to God. To “hallow” God’s name is to desire that God’s reputation in the world reflects who he truly is—good, whole, loving, and just. It’s a prayer that our lives would reflect that goodness.

To pray “your kingdom come” is to ask for God’s leadership and rule to take priority over our own. It’s a surrender of control, a recognition that we are not the best leaders of our own lives.

To pray “your will be done” is to trust that God’s way leads to life, even when it’s not what we would naturally choose.

Structured prayer doesn’t limit your relationship with God—it anchors it in what is always true

Learning how to pray the Lord’s Prayer means letting these desires reshape our own.

4. How to pray the Lord’s Prayer for everyday needs

The second half of the prayer turns toward our daily lives:

  • Give us today our daily bread
  • Forgive us our sins as we forgive others
  • Lead us not into trial, but deliver us from evil

This is where the prayer becomes deeply personal. “Daily bread” reminds us to trust God for what we need today—not to live in anxiety about the future, but to recognize the provision already present in our lives.

Forgiveness addresses one of the deepest human struggles: we fail, and others fail us. The prayer invites us into a flow of grace—receiving forgiveness from God and extending it to others.

And finally, the prayer acknowledges that life includes difficulty. Trials will come. We ask God to guide us through them so they don’t undo us, but instead form us.

In this way, praying the Lord’s Prayer becomes a way of preparing your heart for real life—not escaping it.

5. How to pray the Lord’s Prayer as a way of life

This prayer is not meant to be rushed or recited without thought. It’s something to live into.

You can pray it all at once, or you can slow down and focus on one line at a time. You can use it as written, or expand each line into your own words.

Over time, it begins to shape how you think:

  • You start your day grounded instead of anxious
  • You see your needs with more clarity and less fear
  • You hold onto less resentment
  • You become more open to God’s direction

This is what happens when prayer moves from something you occasionally do to something that forms who you are.

Practicing This Week

  1. Start your day by praying the Lord’s Prayer before checking your phone
  2. Say it out loud if possible, even quietly, to engage your whole self
  3. Choose one line each day to reflect on more deeply
  4. Try praying it more than once a day—morning, midday, or evening
  5. When you feel anxious or reactive, return to the prayer as a reset

Questions for Reflection

  1. What has your experience with prayer been like up to this point?
  2. How does the idea of structured prayer feel to you—helpful, uncomfortable, unfamiliar?
  3. Which line of the Lord’s Prayer stands out to you the most right now?
  4. Where in your life do you need to trust God for “daily bread”?
  5. Is there someone you need to forgive as part of your own experience of grace?

If this way of praying feels new or even a little uncomfortable, that’s okay. You don’t have to get it perfect. The invitation is simply to begin.

Jesus didn’t just tell us to pray—he showed us how. And as you practice how to pray the Lord’s Prayer, you may find that it does more than guide your words. It begins to reshape your heart, your perspective, and your life, one day at a time.

freedom through surrender to God as we trust Jesus with our whole lives

How Letting Go Can Lead to Real Freedom

Written by Kay Stonecypher on . Posted in Sermon Highlights. No Comments on How Letting Go Can Lead to Real Freedom

This week’s teaching explored freedom through surrender to God and the surprising way Jesus turns our assumptions upside down. In a world that tells us to hold on tighter, prove ourselves, and stay in control, Jesus offers another way: letting go, trusting him, and discovering a deeper kind of hope.

This Week’s Sermon: Surrendering My Life to God

Key Takeaways

  • Jesus teaches that real life is found not in self-protection, but in self-giving love.
  • Surrender is not the same as giving up; it is choosing to trust God more than our own control.
  • The way of Jesus invites us to release self-centeredness and become people who serve others.
  • Even in suffering, Jesus points us toward hope, resurrection, and transformation.
  • Loving God with our whole heart, soul, mind, and strength means opening every part of our lives to him.

Sermon Highlights: Freedom Through Surrender to God

There are seasons when many of us feel like we have to hold everything together. We try to manage the outcome, protect ourselves from loss, and make sure we do not fall behind. We want control because control feels safer than uncertainty.

But over time, that way of living can leave us tired. It can make us anxious, guarded, and stuck inside ourselves. This week’s message invited us to consider a different path, one that sounds risky at first but leads somewhere good: freedom through surrender to God in the everyday moments of real life.

Big Idea of This Week’s Teaching

The big idea this week was simple and challenging: freedom through surrender to God is the way of Jesus. Instead of clinging to control, proving ourselves, or trying to win at all costs, Jesus invites us to trust him with our whole selves. In that surrender, we do not lose what matters most. We begin to find real life.

Key Scriptures

  • Mark 12:30
    Jesus reminds us to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. This passage framed the message by showing that faith is not partial or compartmentalized. God invites our whole lives.
  • Mark 8:31–35
    Jesus tells his followers that he will suffer, be rejected, die, and rise again, and then calls them to deny themselves, take up their cross, and follow him. This passage showed that the way of Jesus is not control or domination, but surrender, trust, and hope.
  • Galatians 2:20
    Paul says, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” This passage helped show that surrender is not the end of life, but the beginning of transformation.

1. Freedom through surrender to God begins with letting go of control

One of the clearest movements in the sermon was the contrast between the way of the world and the way of Jesus. The world tells us to protect ourselves, prove ourselves, and make sure we come out on top. Jesus speaks a very different word.

He talks openly about suffering, rejection, and laying down his life. Peter recoils at that language, and honestly, many of us do too. It does not sound practical. It does not sound strong. But Jesus is not describing failure. He is showing us the shape of love.

That matters because freedom through surrender to God does not mean passivity or pretending pain does not exist. It means loosening our grip on the illusion that we can control everything. It means trusting that God can hold what we cannot.

2. Freedom through surrender to God changes how we see ourselves

Jesus says, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves, take up their cross and follow me.” Those words can sound heavy at first, but the heart of them is not self-hatred. It is release.

So much of our exhaustion comes from constant self-focus. We worry about how we are perceived. We compare. We defend. We keep score. We carry pressure that was never meant to define us. The sermon named this honestly and invited us into freedom through surrender to God as a different way of being human.

“It’s only when we serve that we experience freedom.”

When we stop building life around ourselves, we become more open to love. We become more available to other people. We begin to discover that surrender is not about becoming less valuable. It is about becoming more open to grace.

3. Freedom through surrender to God reaches every part of life

This week’s teaching also connected surrender to the Jesus Creed: loving God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength and loving our neighbors as ourselves. That means surrender is not only emotional or spiritual in a vague sense. It touches every part of life.

Personally, we surrender our hearts and souls to God. We let him meet us in the places where we are afraid, defensive, or guarded.

“You surrender. You don’t give up. You let go.”

Mentally, we surrender our minds. We do not simply collect more information about God. We open ourselves to experiencing God and being changed by him.

Physically, we surrender our strength and resources. That includes our bodies, our habits, our money, our possessions, and the ways we use what we have. freedom through surrender to God becomes practical when we begin asking, “How can my whole life be offered back to God in love”

4. Freedom through surrender to God leads us toward hope

One of the most important parts of the message was the reminder that Peter seemed to miss: Jesus did not only say he would suffer and die. He also said he would rise again.

That is where Christian hope lives. Surrender is not the end of the story. Resurrection is. The way of Jesus includes pain, but it does not end there. God brings life out of what looks lost. He brings hope where we expect only disappointment.

That is why communion, also called Eucharist, matters so much in this season. Eucharist simply means a prayerful act of thanksgiving at the table of Jesus. As we come to the table, we remember both surrender and hope. We remember the love of Christ given for us, and we respond by placing our own lives in his hands.

Practicing This Week

  • Pray one simple prayer each day: “God, show me where I need freedom through surrender to you in my life this week.”
  • Read Mark 8 slowly and notice where you feel resistance to Jesus’ invitation.
  • Name one area you are gripping tightly right now and talk honestly with God about it.
  • Look for one way to serve someone this week without needing recognition in return.
  • As you come to worship or prayer, offer God these words: “I surrender myself personally, mentally, and physically.”

Questions for Reflection

  • Where in your life are you most tempted to hold on tightly instead of trusting God?
  • What do you think you might lose if you surrender more fully to Jesus?
  • How have control, comparison, or self-protection been affecting your peace?
  • What might freedom through surrender to God look like in your relationships or daily decisions?
  • What part of the hope of Jesus feels most important for you right now?

Jesus does not shame us for struggling to let go. He meets us there with grace. The invitation this week was not to try harder or pretend to be fearless. It was to trust that freedom through surrender to God is not a loss of self, but a path into deeper peace, deeper love, and deeper life in Christ. Wherever this message meets you today, may you know that Jesus is patient with you, present with you, and still leading you toward hope.

Abiding in Jesus and finding a place of peace and belonging

Abiding in Jesus and Making Your Home in God

Written by Kay Stonecypher on . Posted in Sermon Highlights. No Comments on Abiding in Jesus and Making Your Home in God

This week’s teaching was about abiding in Jesus and what it means to make our home in the love of God. In a world where many people feel anxious, disconnected, or alone, this message reminded us that Jesus does not leave us on our own and invites us into a steady, ongoing relationship marked by peace, belonging, and love.

This Week’s Sermon: Connected to God

Key Takeaways

  • Home is not mainly about a place, but about being known, loved, and welcomed in relationship.
  • Abiding in Jesus means staying connected to him, not through performance, but through love and trust.
  • Jesus promises that we are not alone, because the Holy Spirit remains with us forever.
  • Spiritual growth is less about mastering rules and more about learning to love God and love others.
  • Intentional practices like prayer, Scripture, and gathered worship help us deepen our awareness of God’s presence.

Sermon Highlights: Abiding in Jesus

Sometimes the deepest ache in our lives is not about success, money, or even answers. It is the longing to know that we belong somewhere. We want to know that we are loved, that we are not alone, and that when life feels uncertain, there is still a place where we are held.

That longing showed up clearly in this week’s message. Through a practical teaching, we were invited to see that the life of faith is not mainly about rules or religious performance. It is about relationship. It is about home. And that is exactly what abiding in Jesus offers us.

Big Idea of This Week’s Teaching

The big idea this week was simple and deeply comforting: Abiding in Jesus means making our home in his love and trusting that he makes his home with us. We do not have to earn our place with God. In Jesus, we are welcomed, loved, and never left alone.

Key Scriptures

  • Matthew 22:36–40
    Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment, and he answered by centering everything on love: love God and love your neighbor. This passage helped frame the whole message by showing that the Christian life is rooted in relationship, not a checklist.
  • John 14:16–20
    Jesus promised that the Father would send the Holy Spirit to be with his followers forever. This passage was used to remind us that even though Jesus is no longer physically present, we are not abandoned. God is still with us.
  • John 15:4–17
    Jesus called his followers to remain in him, or abide in him, just as branches remain connected to a vine. This passage showed that Abiding in Jesus is how we stay rooted in his love and learn to live as his friends.

1. Abiding in Jesus means finding home in relationship

One of the strongest images in the sermon was the idea of home. Home is not always about a familiar building or a room filled with our things. Sometimes home is simply the place where someone lights up when we arrive. It is the place where we are received with love.

That is part of what makes Abiding in Jesus such a powerful picture. Jesus does not invite us into a cold religious system. He invites us into relationship. He invites us to dwell with him, to remain with him, and to know that we belong to him.

Many of us know what it feels like to be busy, uncertain, or emotionally tired. We may even be surrounded by people and still feel alone. This teaching reminded us that in Jesus, we have more than an idea to believe in. We have a person who welcomes us, stays with us, and calls us friend.

2. Abiding in Jesus and the comfort of the Holy Spirit

As Jesus prepared his disciples for his death, he knew they were afraid. They were worried about what would happen when they could no longer see him. Underneath all of that fear was a very human question: Will I be left alone?

Jesus answered that fear with a promise. He said the Father would send the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, to be with them forever. That matters because it means the presence of God is not distant, occasional, or fragile. Abiding in Jesus is possible because God has chosen to stay near.

The sermon highlighted that comfort is more than a soothing feeling. It is the security of having a place to belong. It is the peace of knowing that God has not walked away from us. Even when life is painful, confusing, or full of grief, the Holy Spirit remains with us. We are not spiritual orphans. We are loved children and trusted friends.

3. Abiding in Jesus is more about love than rules

At first, words like “command” can make us nervous. We may assume Jesus is about to hand us a list of religious demands. But this week’s teaching helped us hear his words more clearly. When Jesus speaks of his command, he says this: love each other as I have loved you.

That changes everything.

Abiding in Jesus is not about trying to impress God with our effort. It is about staying rooted in the love Jesus has already shown us. His love is not abstract. He tells his disciples that he calls them friends, and then he goes on to lay down his life for them. That is the shape of divine love.

You do not have to earn a place with God. In Jesus, you are welcomed, loved, and not left alone.

When we live from that kind of love, we begin to extend it to others. We become more welcoming. More compassionate. More attentive to the lonely and overlooked. We start to embody the kind of home we ourselves have received.

4. Abiding in Jesus takes intention

The message also gave us a practical challenge. Relationships grow through intention. Even when love is steady, closeness still needs attention. The same is true in our life with God.

Abiding in Jesus is not something we force, but it is something we practice. Making space for prayer. Reading Scripture slowly. Gathering with the church. Paying attention. Pausing long enough to breathe, settle our thoughts, and remember that God is here.

Abiding in Jesus means making your home in his love and learning to live from that peace every day.

The pastor offered a simple and meaningful pattern for prayer: gratitude for the past, honesty about the present, and hope for the future. That kind of intentional prayer helps us reconnect with the God who is already near. It trains our hearts to live with greater peace.

Practicing This Week

  • Set aside a few intentional minutes each day to practice abiding in Jesus through quiet prayer.
  • Read John 13 through 16 over the course of the week and notice what Jesus says about love, peace, friendship, and the Holy Spirit.
  • Pray one prayer of thanks for the past, one prayer for help in the present, and one prayer of hope for the future.
  • Welcome someone this week with warmth and kindness, especially someone who may feel unseen or new.
  • When anxiety rises, pause and remind yourself: I am not alone, and God is with me.

Questions for Reflection

  • When do you most deeply feel the longing for home, belonging, or peace?
  • What makes it hard for you to practice abiding in Jesus in everyday life?
  • How does it change your view of God to hear that Jesus calls you friend?
  • Where do you need the comfort of the Holy Spirit right now?
  • Who in your life might need to experience welcome, hospitality, or care from you this week?

The invitation of Jesus is not pressure. It is presence. He does not ask us to prove ourselves before coming near. He welcomes us to remain in his love, to receive his peace, and to trust that we are not alone. As you move through this week, may abiding in Jesus become more than an idea. May it become a place of rest, honesty, and hope.

How to find self-control

From Appetite to Freedom: How to Find Self-Control in Everyday Life

Written by Kay Stonecypher on . Posted in Sermon Highlights. No Comments on From Appetite to Freedom: How to Find Self-Control in Everyday Life

This week’s teaching explored how to find self-control when our appetites start to run our lives—whether it’s substances, food, sex, shopping, screens, or the need to be right. We were invited to rediscover fasting as an ancient, practical, Jesus-shaped way to strengthen our ability to say no to destructive cravings and yes to God’s life-giving freedom.

This Week’s Sermon: Finding Self-Control

Key Takeaways

  • how to find self-control starts by naming the appetites that are trying to take the driver’s seat in your life.
  • Self-control is like a muscle, and fasting is a consistent workout that strengthens it over time.
  • Fasting helps reorder our desires so that our hunger for God becomes the deepest hunger again.
  • In Scripture, fasting creates space to seek God, repent honestly, and surrender control to the Spirit.
  • Lent is an ideal season to start small, practice with grace, and let God form real freedom in you.

Sermon Highlights: How to Find Self-Control

Most of us don’t decide to lose control. It happens gradually: a habit that starts as a comfort, a craving that becomes a pattern, a “just this once” that slowly becomes the default. One day you’re choosing something. The next day it feels like it’s choosing you.

That tension is exactly where this week’s teaching met us: how to find self-control when you suspect something inside you is sometimes more in charge than you are. For some, that struggle is obvious and costly. For others, it’s subtle and socially acceptable. But the question is the same for all of us: do you want to be free?

Big Idea of This Week’s Teaching

How to find self-control is not mainly about stronger willpower. It’s about training your desires with God, so that your appetite for God becomes the deepest desire again—and your other appetites take their proper place.

Key Scriptures

  • Proverbs 25:28 — A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls. This image framed self-control as protection and stability, not restriction.
  • Matthew 4:1–2 — Jesus prepared for temptation by fasting forty days and forty nights. Fasting was presented as training that strengthens the self-control muscle.
  • 2 Chronicles 20:3 — Jehoshaphat proclaimed a fast to seek God when fear and pressure were overwhelming. Fasting was shown as a way to quiet noise and listen.
  • Jonah 3:5–8 — Nineveh fasted as part of repentance and turning from violence. Fasting was connected to sincere change, not performative guilt.
  • Galatians 5:22–25 — Self-control is fruit of the Spirit, not a product of sheer willpower. This grounded self-control in partnership with God.
  • Romans 12:1 — Offer your bodies as a living sacrifice. Fasting was framed as an embodied way to surrender, not just a mental intention.

1. How to find self-control by naming what is ruling you

The teaching began with a story many of us recognize in different forms: a talented, successful person who still becomes a slave to an appetite. The point wasn’t to single out one kind of addiction, but to name a reality: appetites are powerful. They can be good servants, but terrible masters.

So the first step in how to find self-control is gentle honesty. What appetite do you struggle to say no to? Food, alcohol, substances, sex, shopping, screens, drama, approval, control, comfort, being right—what tends to pull you off-center? The goal isn’t shame. The goal is clarity, because you can’t regain the driver’s seat if you won’t look at what keeps grabbing the wheel.

2. How to find self-control by understanding your appetites

A key part of the message was that appetites live at different layers of our being.

Some appetites are bodily and loud: hunger, thirst, sleep, pleasure. Others are mental and emotional: approval, admiration, control, winning, comfort. But beneath those is something deeper: the appetite of the spirit, the heart, the will—the place of ultimate desire.

When that deepest desire is for God, the rest of life finds its order. But when something else takes that place—when a good thing becomes the ultimate thing—everything starts to bend around it. That’s when life feels chaotic, compulsive, and out of control.

This is why how to find self-control is not just behavior management. It’s spiritual formation. It’s learning to reorder desire so that God is at the center again.

3. How to find self-control through fasting as training

If self-control is a muscle, it makes sense that it grows through practice. You don’t get stronger by wishing you were strong. You get stronger by training.

That’s why fasting mattered so much in this teaching. Before Jesus began his public ministry, he fasted in the wilderness. He didn’t fast because food is bad. He fasted because he was preparing to face temptation without being ruled by it.

How to find self-control starts with naming what keeps grabbing the wheel and choosing training over shame.

Fasting is the choice to say no to a basic appetite for a time, so you can say yes to God more clearly. And because food is concrete and immediate, practicing restraint there can strengthen your ability to practice restraint elsewhere. Over time, fasting forms you into someone who can pause, choose, and respond—rather than react and spiral.

That’s a hopeful vision of how to find self-control: not instant transformation, but real formation.

4. How to find self-control by seeking, repenting, and surrendering

The sermon showed three biblical reasons people fast that connect directly to self-control.

First, we fast to seek God. Fasting reduces the mental noise that constantly demands attention and creates space to listen. And when you actually hear from God, obedience becomes less like white-knuckling and more like walking with guidance.

Fasting is not about proving strength to God; it’s about making space for God to form strength in you.

Second, we fast to repent. In quiet and discomfort, patterns rise to the surface. We see what we’ve excused, minimized, or ignored. Fasting doesn’t earn forgiveness—Jesus already secured that. But fasting can help us take repentance seriously, and repentance breaks the grip of sin.

Third, we fast to surrender. Here’s the paradox the sermon named: controlling yourself is not something you can do alone. True self-control grows when you yield ultimate control to God. Galatians 5 calls self-control fruit of the Spirit. That means it’s produced through relationship and partnership, not performance.

Practicing This Week

  1. Choose one simple fast during Lent: skip one meal per week between now and Easter.
  2. During that meal time, do something relational with God: pray, read Scripture slowly, take a quiet walk, or sit in silence.
  3. When hunger hits, use it as a prompt prayer: God, I want you more than I want comfort right now.
  4. Add one act of repentance: write down one specific thing to confess before you break your fast, then bring it to God with honesty.
  5. Keep it small, consistent, and private. This is training, not proving.

Questions for Reflection

  1. Where in your life do you most feel the struggle of how to find self-control right now?
  2. Which appetite feels loudest for you lately—comfort, approval, control, distraction, food, something else?
  3. What might it look like to make space to seek God in the middle of a busy week?
  4. Is there a pattern you sense God inviting you to repent from, not with shame but with hope?
  5. What would surrender look like in one specific decision you’re facing right now?

If you hear the invitation to fasting and feel intimidated, start where you are. God is not impressed by heroic hunger; God is forming willing hearts. The good news is that you were created for freedom, and Jesus is not only your Savior—he is also your teacher. As you practice how to find self-control, you are not doing it alone. The Spirit is at work, growing something real in you, one small, faithful step at a time.

Lent at The Journey Church a season of reflection generosity and hope

Lent at The Journey Church: A Season of Reflection, Generosity, and Hope

Written by Kay Stonecypher on . Posted in Latest Events. No Comments on Lent at The Journey Church: A Season of Reflection, Generosity, and Hope

Lent at The Journey Church is a season of reflection, generosity, and spiritual growth leading up to Easter. During these forty days, we slow down, remember the sacrifice of Jesus, and practice simple ways of growing in faith together as a community.

Refocusing Our Lives

Each year, the Christian calendar invites us into rhythms that help us pause, reflect, and refocus our lives on what matters most. One of the most meaningful of these seasons is Lent. At The Journey Church, Lent is a time when we intentionally slow down, reflect on our faith, and prepare our hearts for Easter.

Lent at The Journey Church begins on Ash Wednesday and continues through Good Friday and Easter Sunday. This season traces its roots back to the early church. In the earliest centuries of Christianity, believers would spend time fasting and reflecting between Good Friday and Easter as they remembered the sacrifice of Jesus and anticipated the celebration of his resurrection.

Over time, this practice expanded into the forty-day season we know today. For centuries, Christians around the world have used this season as an opportunity to step back from the busyness of everyday life and reconnect with their faith. At The Journey Church, we continue this tradition in ways that are simple, meaningful, and accessible for everyone.

Slowing Down During Lent

One of the central invitations of Lent at The Journey Church is to slow down. Life moves quickly, and it is easy to go weeks or even months without intentionally reflecting on our spiritual lives. Lent gives us space to pause and remember what our faith is really about.

Throughout this season, we encourage people to take time to reflect on the life and sacrifice of Jesus. This reflection helps us approach Easter not just as a holiday, but as the celebration of the resurrection that sits at the center of the Christian story.

This year during Lent, our Sunday teaching series is called “Spiritually Formed.” Through this series, we will explore what it means to grow in our faith and allow God to shape our lives from the inside out. Each week we will look at practices and perspectives that help us become more rooted in the love of God and more aware of how our faith shapes our everyday lives.

Giving Something Up

One of the most well-known traditions during Lent is the practice of giving something up. At The Journey Church, we invite everyone to consider setting aside something meaningful for the forty days leading up to Easter.

The purpose is not simply self-denial. Instead, it is about creating a small but intentional reminder of our faith. When we give something up for Lent, it helps us pause and remember the sacrifice of Jesus and the love that led him to the cross.

For some people, this might be giving up a certain food or drink. Others might step away from something like social media, entertainment, or another daily habit. The specific choice is personal and flexible. The goal is simply to choose something that helps you pause and reflect whenever you notice its absence.

During Lent at The Journey Church, each moment of that reminder becomes an opportunity to reflect on what Christ gave up so that we might experience life and hope.

Giving Something Out

Alongside giving something up, we also practice giving something out. Lent at The Journey Church includes an opportunity for generosity through our annual Rice Bowl project.

Rice Bowls are small containers that people take home during Lent. Throughout the season, you can place spare change or bills inside them. At the end of Lent, these gifts are collected and donated to support vulnerable children and orphans in Sub-Saharan Africa.

Globally, there are more than 160 million orphaned children, with many living in extremely difficult circumstances. Through the Rice Bowl project, our church partners with organizations working specifically in Sub-Saharan Africa, where many children face challenges like poverty, hunger, and limited access to support.

Most of the compassion projects we support as a church focus on our local community. Rice Bowls give us the opportunity to extend that compassion globally and support children who need care and resources. Our goal this year is to raise $1,000 to support this work.

If you would like to participate, simply pick up a Rice Bowl at church and place your donations in it throughout the season.

Good Friday Agape Feast

Another meaningful tradition during Lent at The Journey Church is our annual Good Friday Agape Feast.

The word “agape” is a Greek word used in the New Testament to describe self-giving love. In the early church, believers would gather for a shared community meal called an Agape Feast. This meal reminded them of the love of Christ and the unity of the church.

Each year on Good Friday, we continue this tradition together. Our Agape Feast is a potluck-style meal where everyone is invited to bring something to share. It is a simple and meaningful evening that includes food, conversation, and a short reflective service as we remember the sacrifice of Jesus on Good Friday.

This gathering also helps us prepare our hearts for the joy of Easter Sunday, when we celebrate the resurrection and the hope it brings.

Join Us for Lent at The Journey Church

Lent is not about perfection or pressure. It is about creating space to reflect, reconnect with God, and walk together as a community of faith.

Whether you participate by giving something up, contributing to the Rice Bowl project, attending the Good Friday Agape Feast, or simply engaging with the Spiritually Formed teaching series, Lent at The Journey Church offers a meaningful way to slow down and focus on what truly matters.

As we move through this season together, we invite you to take small steps that help you reflect on your faith and prepare your heart for Easter.

Lent at The Journey Church is ultimately about remembering the love of Christ, growing in faith, and walking toward the hope of resurrection together.