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honoring your parents through gratitude and family connection

Honoring Your Parents in Every Season of Life

Written by Havana Sonday on . Posted in Resources, Sermon Highlights. No Comments on Honoring Your Parents in Every Season of Life

This week’s teaching explored the Fifth Commandment and what it means to honor our parents across the different seasons and realities of family life. Honoring your parents does not mean pretending they were perfect or tolerating unhealthy behavior; it means allowing God to shape our hearts toward gratitude, forgiveness, wisdom, and healing.

This Week’s Teaching: #5: Honor

Key Takeaways

    • Honoring your parents begins with recognizing that every person has value and that no one is expendable.
    • Healthy boundaries can protect relationships without automatically becoming complete cutoff.
    • We can become pillars in our families by passing wisdom and faith to the next generation.
    • Honoring your parents does not require pretending they were perfect or ignoring wounds from the past.
    • Gratitude is a practical way to honor parents, grandparents, mentors, and others who have shaped our lives.

    Sermon Highlights: Honoring Your Parents

    Family relationships can be complicated. For some people, the word “family” brings memories of love, safety, and gratitude. For others, it may bring disappointment, wounds, absence, or relationships that are difficult to navigate. So what does the Fifth Commandment mean when our family stories are anything but simple?

    This week, we continued our 10 Commandments series by looking at the command to honor our father and mother. The invitation is not about pretending our parents were perfect. It is about allowing God to shape the condition of our hearts and teaching us how to bring healing, gratitude, wisdom, and grace into our families.

    “Be someone who doesn’t just heal yourself, but re-enters the family in a new way and brings healing.”

    Big Idea of This Week’s Teaching

    The Fifth Commandment reminds us that people are never expendable. Honoring your parents means recognizing the value of those who came before us, receiving wisdom from older generations, caring for family when they need us, and choosing forgiveness and healing where relationships have been difficult.

    At its heart, this commandment is about loving others well. Jesus summarized the entire law with two commands: love God and love your neighbor as yourself. Honoring your parents is one practical expression of that love.

    Key Scriptures

    Matthew 22:36–40

    Jesus identifies loving God and loving our neighbors as the greatest commandments. This provides the larger framework for the entire Ten Commandments: our relationship with God should shape the way we treat people.

    Exodus 20:12

    “Honor your father and your mother” is the Fifth Commandment. The sermon emphasized that this command is especially directed toward adult children and their responsibility to honor and care for aging parents.

    Job 12:12

    Scripture connects age and experience with wisdom. Older generations have stories, knowledge, and perspective that can benefit those who come after them.

    Psalm 78:4

    God’s people are called to tell the next generation about His faithfulness. A person’s purpose does not end when they retire or become physically weaker; there is still wisdom, faith, and influence to offer.

    1. Honoring Your Parents Begins With Seeing People as Valuable

      The Israelites’ journey out of Egypt gives us an important backdrop for the Fifth Commandment. Imagine millions of people traveling through the wilderness with limited resources and no modern technology. In a situation like that, an uncomfortable question could arise: Who is expendable?

      The elderly might easily have been viewed as a burden. They could slow the group down and require additional care. But that is not how God sees people. The Fifth Commandment declares that older people are worthy of honor and care.

      That message still matters today. Our culture can place enormous value on youth, productivity, influence, and what people can contribute. Scripture reminds us that a person’s worth is not determined by their productivity. There is wisdom to share, stories to tell, relationships to nurture, and faith to pass on.

      2. Honoring Your Parents Does Not Mean Pretending They Were Perfect

        One of the most important parts of this teaching was the recognition that every family is different. Some people may have had wonderful parents, or imperfect parents. Some experienced absence, neglect, or abuse, and carry wounds they are still trying to understand. This means honoring your parents cannot look exactly the same for everyone.

        Honoring your parents does not mean pretending they were perfect, tolerating abuse, or agreeing with everything they believe. It can mean forgiving without necessarily reconciling, staying connected without being as close as you once hoped, or learning to respond with wisdom instead of allowing old wounds to control your emotions.

        Healthy boundaries are also important. A boundary asks, “What will I do in response to this behavior?” It does not necessarily mean, “If you upset me, you lose access to me.” Maturity seeks the healthiest path available, recognizing that both parents and adult children may remember the same events differently.

        For those working through difficult family relationships, honoring your parents may be less about changing them and more about allowing God to change what is happening within your own heart.

        “Honoring our parents doesn’t mean pretending they were perfect. It means refusing to let their failures determine the condition of our hearts.”

        3. Honoring Your Parents Can Bring Healing to Your Family

          The sermon challenged us to think beyond simply healing ourselves. Personal healing matters, but there is also an opportunity to become someone who brings healing into a family.

          That might begin with becoming a pillar in your own household. Make wise choices. Love your spouse well. Raise your children with the goal of helping them become healthy adults. Pass wisdom to the next generation, whether through your own children or through younger people God has placed around you. When we become a pillar in our own family, that influence can extend outward to friends, coworkers, neighbors, and the wider community.

          Honoring your parents can also include remembering those who have died. We honor them when we tell their stories, carry forward their wisdom, and speak with gratitude about the ways they shaped our lives. Their influence can continue long after their earthly lives have ended.

          4. Honoring Your Parents Includes Practicing Gratitude

            If you have parents, grandparents, mentors, teachers, coaches, older siblings, or other people who have helped shape your life, take time to thank them. Spend time with them. Ask about their lives and what they experienced when they were younger. Listen to their stories. As they age, look for ways to care for them, even when doing so requires time, energy, or financial sacrifice.

            The simple act of gratitude can become a powerful spiritual practice. Honoring your parents does not have to begin with a grand gesture. Sometimes it begins with a phone call, a visit, a handwritten note, or a few sincere words.

            Practicing This Week

            1. Write a thank-you note to a parent, grandparent, mentor, or older person who has influenced your life.
            2. Call or visit an older family member and ask them to tell you a story about their younger years.
            3. If you have a difficult relationship with a parent, pray about what forgiveness, healthy boundaries, or a wise next step might look like for you.
            4. Think about what wisdom you want to pass on to the next generation.
            5. Remember someone who has passed away by sharing a story about their life and the impact they had on you.

            Questions for Reflection

            1. When you hear the command to honor your parents, what emotions or memories come to mind?
            2. What is one way you can honor a parent or older person without pretending that they were perfect?
            3. Are there family wounds that God may be inviting you to approach with forgiveness or wisdom?
            4. Who has shared wisdom, courage, or faith with you that you could thank this week?
            5. What are you doing now to become a source of wisdom and encouragement for the next generation?

            The Fifth Commandment reminds us that our families matter to God. Honoring your parents is not about achieving a perfect family or carrying guilt for everything that has happened in the past. It is about becoming people who choose love, wisdom, gratitude, forgiveness, and healing wherever possible.

            This week, consider who you might thank. Consider whose story you might listen to. Consider where you might bring healing. And remember that honoring your parents begins not with perfection, but with a heart being shaped by the love of Christ.

            Resolving Conflict God's Way through honest conversations and reconciliation

            Resolving Conflict God’s Way in Everyday Relationships

            Written by Havana Sonday on . Posted in Resources, Sermon Highlights. No Comments on Resolving Conflict God’s Way in Everyday Relationships

            Conflict is an unavoidable part of every relationship, but it doesn’t have to lead to division. This week’s teaching explored how Jesus shows us a better path—one that moves us toward resolving conflict God’s way with honesty, humility, and reconciliation instead of silence or hostility.

            This Week’s Sermon: Resolving Conflict Well

            Key Takeaways

            • Conflict isn’t the enemy; unresolved conflict is.
            • Jesus calls us to take the first step toward reconciliation, even when it’s difficult.
            • Healthy relationships grow when we communicate directly and with grace.
            • Anger can become an invitation to examine what’s happening in our hearts.
            • Following Jesus means pursuing restored relationships instead of simply trying to win.

            Sermon Highlights: Resolving Conflict God’s Way

            Most of us don’t enjoy conflict. We avoid difficult conversations, hope problems will disappear on their own, or quietly carry hurt for far longer than we’d like to admit. Others may react quickly, allowing frustration to shape their words before they’ve had time to reflect.

            “Conflict is not the problem. Combat or silence is the problem.”

            Yet every relationship eventually encounters disagreement. Whether it’s within a marriage, a friendship, a family, or at work, conflict is part of being human. The question isn’t whether we’ll experience conflict—it’s how we’ll respond when it comes.

            This week’s message reminded us that resolving conflict God’s way isn’t about avoiding tension or proving we’re right. It’s about allowing Jesus to transform the way we love one another so that relationships can grow stronger rather than drift apart.

            Big Idea of This Week’s Teaching

            Healthy relationships aren’t built by pretending problems don’t exist. They grow when we choose humility, honest conversation, and reconciliation. Resolving conflict God’s way means following Jesus’ example by taking responsibility for our part, speaking directly with others, and pursuing restored relationships whenever possible.

            Key Scriptures

            Matthew 18:15

            Jesus teaches that when someone sins against us, we should go directly to that person privately. Rather than encouraging gossip or avoidance, Jesus offers a practical path toward reconciliation built on honesty and grace.

            Philippians 4:2–3

            Paul encourages two believers who were experiencing conflict to pursue unity with the help of trusted members of their church community. The passage reminds us that reconciliation matters deeply within the body of Christ.

            1. Resolving Conflict God’s Way Begins by Accepting That Conflict Is Normal

            Many of us assume healthy relationships should have little or no conflict. But Scripture paints a different picture. Even throughout the Bible we see relationships marked by disagreements, forgiveness, restoration, and growth.

            Conflict itself isn’t evidence that something has gone wrong. Often, it simply reveals that two imperfect people are learning how to love one another. Rather than fearing every disagreement, we can recognize it as an opportunity to grow in patience, humility, and understanding.

            Resolving conflict God’s way starts by acknowledging that disagreements will happen. Instead of asking, “How can I avoid conflict?” we begin asking, “How can I honor Jesus in the middle of it?”

            2. Resolving Conflict God’s Way Requires Personal Responsibility

            One of the most challenging parts of Jesus’ teaching is His invitation to make the first move. Our natural tendency is to wait for someone else to apologize or fix the situation. But Jesus calls His followers to pursue peace proactively. Even when we feel hurt, we can choose humility over pride and conversation over resentment.

            This doesn’t mean ignoring wisdom or pretending every situation is simple. Some conflicts require careful boundaries or trusted guidance. Still, the posture remains the same: we seek restoration instead of waiting indefinitely for someone else to act. Resolving conflict God’s way invites us to focus less on assigning blame and more on faithfully responding to Christ’s call.

            3. Resolving Conflict God’s Way Chooses Conversation Instead of Gossip

            When we’re hurt, it’s often easier to talk about someone than to talk with them. Jesus offers a healthier alternative. Rather than allowing misunderstandings to spread through assumptions or conversations with unrelated people, He encourages direct, private communication whenever possible.

            Honest conversations aren’t always comfortable, but they create opportunities for healing that gossip never can. Speaking truth with kindness protects relationships while honoring the dignity of the other person. This kind of communication reflects the heart of Jesus, who continually moved toward people with grace and truth.

            4. Resolving Conflict God’s Way Leads to Reconciliation

            The goal of every difficult conversation isn’t winning an argument. It’s restoring a relationship. Sometimes reconciliation happens quickly. Other times it takes patience, repeated conversations, and the work of the Holy Spirit over time. While we cannot control another person’s response, we can choose to pursue peace with humility and integrity.

            As we practice resolving conflict God’s way, we discover that healthy conflict can actually deepen trust. Relationships become stronger because honesty replaces avoidance and grace overcomes bitterness.

            “Conflict is necessary for relationships to grow.”

            Jesus didn’t come simply to remove conflict; He came to reconcile people with God and with one another. His followers are invited to reflect that same ministry of reconciliation every day.

            Practicing This Week

            1. Ask God to reveal any relationship where unresolved conflict may be lingering.
            2. Before reacting in anger, take time to pray and honestly examine what may be underneath your emotions.
            3. If appropriate, reach out privately to begin an honest conversation with someone you’ve been avoiding.
            4. Ask a mature Christian friend or pastor for wisdom if reconciliation feels especially difficult.
            5. Pray each day that Jesus would shape your heart with humility, courage, and compassion.

            Questions for Reflection

            1. Is there a relationship where I’ve been avoiding an important conversation?
            2. When conflict arises, do I tend to become combative or withdraw into silence?
            3. What might Jesus be inviting me to do differently this week?
            4. How can I communicate truth while also showing grace?
            5. What would reconciliation look like in one of my relationships today?

            Relationships are rarely simple, and none of us handles conflict perfectly. That’s why our hope isn’t found in our ability to say the right words every time. Our hope is found in Jesus, who continually extends grace, offers forgiveness, and invites us into lives marked by peace.

            As we practice resolving conflict God’s way, we don’t pursue perfection—we pursue Christ. Through His Spirit, He continues to shape us into people who love well, forgive freely, and help bring healing wherever we go.

            finding healing and connection through Christian community with people walking together in faith

            What’s Holding You Back From Real Connection?

            Written by Kay Stonecypher on . Posted in Resources, Sermon Highlights. No Comments on What’s Holding You Back From Real Connection?

            This week’s teaching explored how our hidden struggles often keep us from deep relationships—and how real healing happens when we let others in. Through the story of the paralyzed man and his friends, we’re invited to experience finding healing and connection through Christian community in a way that transforms both our hearts and our relationships.

            This Week’s Sermon: I Desire Relationships

            Key Takeaways

            • We all carry something (“a mat”) that can keep us from deeper connection.
            • Vulnerability is not weakness—it’s the doorway to meaningful relationships.
            • True community shows up, carries burdens, and points us toward Jesus.
            • Healing often happens in the context of relationships, not isolation.
            • Jesus meets us with grace, not condemnation, right where we are.

            Sermon Highlights: Finding Healing And Connection Through Christian Community

            Most of us carry something we’d rather others not see. It might be insecurity, fear, regret, or something from our past that still feels too heavy to name. And even when we’re surrounded by people, it can feel safer to keep those things hidden—because what if being fully known means being rejected?

            But what if the very thing we’re hiding is also the place where connection and healing begin?

            Big Idea of This Week’s Teaching

            Finding healing and connection through Christian community begins when we stop hiding our struggles and allow trusted people—and ultimately Jesus—to meet us in them.

            Key Scriptures

            • Mark 2:1–12 — The story of the paralyzed man lowered through the roof. This passage shows how faith-filled friends and authentic community can lead someone directly to Jesus and healing.
            • Mark 1–2 (context) — Highlights Jesus’ growing ministry and why people were drawn to Him as a source of hope and transformation.

            1. Finding healing and connection starts with honesty

            The sermon introduced a powerful image: we all have a “mat.” For the paralyzed man, it was physical. For us, it might be anxiety, shame, anger, fear, or a deep sense of inadequacy. Whatever it is, it often shapes how we show up in relationships. Instead of risking being seen, we hide. We manage impressions. We keep things surface-level.

            “Every single person in here has their own mat.”

            But the story challenges that instinct. This man didn’t hide his reality—he let people see it. And somehow, in that openness, he built the kind of friendships that would carry him when he couldn’t carry himself. Finding healing and connection through Christian community begins when we stop pretending we don’t have a mat.

            2. Finding healing and connection requires real relationships

            The most striking part of this story isn’t just the miracle—it’s the friends. They showed up. They carried him. They refused to give up when the path was blocked. They literally tore through a roof to get their friend to Jesus.

            That kind of community doesn’t happen accidentally. It grows through trust, honesty, and shared life. The sermon highlighted key traits of these kinds of relationships: listening well, being loyal, staying curious about others, and encouraging one another spiritually.

            Finding healing and connection through Christian community means choosing relationships that go beyond convenience and comfort.

            3. Finding healing and connection involves trust

            Imagine being the man on the mat—completely dependent on others as they lower you through a roof. That takes trust.

            “There’s no gift like the gift of community.”

            In the same way, real community requires us to risk letting others carry parts of our story. And yes, that can feel scary—especially if we’ve been hurt before. But the alternative is isolation. And isolation keeps healing out of reach. Finding healing and connection through Christian community means learning to trust again—wisely, slowly, but genuinely.

            4. Finding healing and connection leads us to Jesus

            When the man finally reaches Jesus, something unexpected happens. Before healing his body, Jesus speaks to his soul: “Your sins are forgiven.” It’s a reminder that our deepest need isn’t just circumstantial—it’s spiritual. And Jesus meets that need with grace.

            The miracle matters. But even more, the forgiveness matters. Finding healing and connection through Christian community ultimately leads us to Jesus, where true wholeness begins.

            Practicing This Week

            • Identify your “mat”: What are you carrying that you tend to hide from others?
            • Share honestly with one trusted person this week. Start small, but be real.
            • Reach out intentionally: Ask someone how they’re really doing—and listen.
            • Choose encouragement: Speak life and hope into someone else’s situation.
            • Engage in community: Come early, stay late, or join a group where relationships can grow.

            Questions for Reflection

            • What is one area of your life where you tend to hide instead of opening up?
            • Who are the people in your life that can help “carry your mat”?
            • What makes it difficult for you to trust others with your struggles?
            • How have you experienced God’s grace through other people?
            • What step could you take this week toward deeper community?

            You don’t have to carry everything alone. The invitation of Jesus—and the heart of community—is not to have it all together, but to come as you are. To be known. To be loved. To be forgiven.

            Finding healing and connection through Christian community isn’t about becoming perfect—it’s about being honest, being supported, and discovering that grace meets you right where you are.

            Abiding in Jesus and finding a place of peace and belonging

            Abiding in Jesus and Making Your Home in God

            Written by Kay Stonecypher on . Posted in Sermon Highlights. No Comments on Abiding in Jesus and Making Your Home in God

            This week’s teaching was about abiding in Jesus and what it means to make our home in the love of God. In a world where many people feel anxious, disconnected, or alone, this message reminded us that Jesus does not leave us on our own and invites us into a steady, ongoing relationship marked by peace, belonging, and love.

            This Week’s Sermon: Connected to God

            Key Takeaways

            • Home is not mainly about a place, but about being known, loved, and welcomed in relationship.
            • Abiding in Jesus means staying connected to him, not through performance, but through love and trust.
            • Jesus promises that we are not alone, because the Holy Spirit remains with us forever.
            • Spiritual growth is less about mastering rules and more about learning to love God and love others.
            • Intentional practices like prayer, Scripture, and gathered worship help us deepen our awareness of God’s presence.

            Sermon Highlights: Abiding in Jesus

            Sometimes the deepest ache in our lives is not about success, money, or even answers. It is the longing to know that we belong somewhere. We want to know that we are loved, that we are not alone, and that when life feels uncertain, there is still a place where we are held.

            That longing showed up clearly in this week’s message. Through a practical teaching, we were invited to see that the life of faith is not mainly about rules or religious performance. It is about relationship. It is about home. And that is exactly what abiding in Jesus offers us.

            Big Idea of This Week’s Teaching

            The big idea this week was simple and deeply comforting: Abiding in Jesus means making our home in his love and trusting that he makes his home with us. We do not have to earn our place with God. In Jesus, we are welcomed, loved, and never left alone.

            Key Scriptures

            • Matthew 22:36–40
              Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment, and he answered by centering everything on love: love God and love your neighbor. This passage helped frame the whole message by showing that the Christian life is rooted in relationship, not a checklist.
            • John 14:16–20
              Jesus promised that the Father would send the Holy Spirit to be with his followers forever. This passage was used to remind us that even though Jesus is no longer physically present, we are not abandoned. God is still with us.
            • John 15:4–17
              Jesus called his followers to remain in him, or abide in him, just as branches remain connected to a vine. This passage showed that Abiding in Jesus is how we stay rooted in his love and learn to live as his friends.

            1. Abiding in Jesus means finding home in relationship

            One of the strongest images in the sermon was the idea of home. Home is not always about a familiar building or a room filled with our things. Sometimes home is simply the place where someone lights up when we arrive. It is the place where we are received with love.

            That is part of what makes Abiding in Jesus such a powerful picture. Jesus does not invite us into a cold religious system. He invites us into relationship. He invites us to dwell with him, to remain with him, and to know that we belong to him.

            Many of us know what it feels like to be busy, uncertain, or emotionally tired. We may even be surrounded by people and still feel alone. This teaching reminded us that in Jesus, we have more than an idea to believe in. We have a person who welcomes us, stays with us, and calls us friend.

            2. Abiding in Jesus and the comfort of the Holy Spirit

            As Jesus prepared his disciples for his death, he knew they were afraid. They were worried about what would happen when they could no longer see him. Underneath all of that fear was a very human question: Will I be left alone?

            Jesus answered that fear with a promise. He said the Father would send the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, to be with them forever. That matters because it means the presence of God is not distant, occasional, or fragile. Abiding in Jesus is possible because God has chosen to stay near.

            The sermon highlighted that comfort is more than a soothing feeling. It is the security of having a place to belong. It is the peace of knowing that God has not walked away from us. Even when life is painful, confusing, or full of grief, the Holy Spirit remains with us. We are not spiritual orphans. We are loved children and trusted friends.

            3. Abiding in Jesus is more about love than rules

            At first, words like “command” can make us nervous. We may assume Jesus is about to hand us a list of religious demands. But this week’s teaching helped us hear his words more clearly. When Jesus speaks of his command, he says this: love each other as I have loved you.

            That changes everything.

            Abiding in Jesus is not about trying to impress God with our effort. It is about staying rooted in the love Jesus has already shown us. His love is not abstract. He tells his disciples that he calls them friends, and then he goes on to lay down his life for them. That is the shape of divine love.

            You do not have to earn a place with God. In Jesus, you are welcomed, loved, and not left alone.

            When we live from that kind of love, we begin to extend it to others. We become more welcoming. More compassionate. More attentive to the lonely and overlooked. We start to embody the kind of home we ourselves have received.

            4. Abiding in Jesus takes intention

            The message also gave us a practical challenge. Relationships grow through intention. Even when love is steady, closeness still needs attention. The same is true in our life with God.

            Abiding in Jesus is not something we force, but it is something we practice. Making space for prayer. Reading Scripture slowly. Gathering with the church. Paying attention. Pausing long enough to breathe, settle our thoughts, and remember that God is here.

            Abiding in Jesus means making your home in his love and learning to live from that peace every day.

            The pastor offered a simple and meaningful pattern for prayer: gratitude for the past, honesty about the present, and hope for the future. That kind of intentional prayer helps us reconnect with the God who is already near. It trains our hearts to live with greater peace.

            Practicing This Week

            • Set aside a few intentional minutes each day to practice abiding in Jesus through quiet prayer.
            • Read John 13 through 16 over the course of the week and notice what Jesus says about love, peace, friendship, and the Holy Spirit.
            • Pray one prayer of thanks for the past, one prayer for help in the present, and one prayer of hope for the future.
            • Welcome someone this week with warmth and kindness, especially someone who may feel unseen or new.
            • When anxiety rises, pause and remind yourself: I am not alone, and God is with me.

            Questions for Reflection

            • When do you most deeply feel the longing for home, belonging, or peace?
            • What makes it hard for you to practice abiding in Jesus in everyday life?
            • How does it change your view of God to hear that Jesus calls you friend?
            • Where do you need the comfort of the Holy Spirit right now?
            • Who in your life might need to experience welcome, hospitality, or care from you this week?

            The invitation of Jesus is not pressure. It is presence. He does not ask us to prove ourselves before coming near. He welcomes us to remain in his love, to receive his peace, and to trust that we are not alone. As you move through this week, may abiding in Jesus become more than an idea. May it become a place of rest, honesty, and hope.

            Advent Hope for Difficult People: Trusting the Farmer

            Written by Kay Stonecypher on . Posted in Sermon Highlights. No Comments on Advent Hope for Difficult People: Trusting the Farmer

            This week’s sermon used the parable of the wheat and the weeds (Matthew 13) and the story of Gaius from The Chosen to challenge our tendency to sort people into “good” and “bad” buckets. John invited us to trust God’s timing, focus on our own spiritual growth, and practice seeing others as God sees them—wheat that is being grown, not weeds to be uprooted.

            This Week’s Sermon: Letting Go of Judgment

            Key Takeaways

            • We are not reliable judges of who is “good” or “bad”; only God sees the whole story.
            • The kingdom of God often allows good and evil to grow together until the harvest—rushing to remove evil causes more harm than good.
            • Our primary job is to grow: cultivate love, joy, peace, and the fruit God has planted in us.
            • When judgment rises, use simple practices (visualization, lists, community) to reorient toward compassion and growth.
            • Advent reframes waiting: we live in hopeful patience, trusting the Farmer who will one day make all things right.

            Sermon Highlights: When Wheat and Weeds Grow Together

            We all have a “Gaius” in our life: someone whose name pops into our head when we think of pain, offense, or ongoing conflict. Maybe they wronged you years ago. Maybe they keep making life harder. It’s tempting to mark them as “bad,” file them away, and stop loving them. That impulse—easy and secretly satisfying—was the heart of this week’s teaching.

            At The Journey this Sunday (the first week of Advent), we listened to Jesus’ parable about wheat and weeds and watched how Jesus treated even the worst-seeming people with kindness. Instead of sharpening our stones, we were invited to take a different path.

            The Big Idea: You’re not built to be the world’s judge. Your job is to grow.

            Jesus’ parable (Matthew 13) shows that weeds—poisonous darnel—and wheat are sometimes indistinguishable until harvest. Trying to uproot “weeds” too early destroys wheat. God, the Farmer, sees the whole field; we see only a few rows. Trust him. Tend your own growth. Love without exception.

            Key Scriptures

            • Matthew 13:24–30 (Parable of the Wheat and Weeds) — Used to show the kingdom’s surprising patience: God allows good and evil to grow together until the harvest so that the wheat won’t be destroyed by premature judgment.
            • Ephesians 6:12 — Quoted to remind us that our struggle is not against people (“flesh and blood”) but against the spiritual forces of evil; people are not the enemy.
            • Reference to Jesus’ encounters (Gospel narrative) — Illustrated how Jesus treats even the oppressive and violent (a Roman centurion like “Gaius”) with compassion, offering a model for us.

            1. You’re a Bad Judge — And That’s Okay to Admit

            We are often terrible at judging character. Even someone as obvious as Gaius the centurion carried hidden motives, pain, and complexity. We only see slices of people’s stories, and arrogance in judgment harms both others and ourselves.

            Real life tie-in: At work or in family conflict, the urge to label someone simplifies complexity—but it also cuts off opportunities for reconciliation and growth.

            2. The Farmer’s Wisdom: Let Them Grow Until the Harvest

            Jesus’ farmer doesn’t rush to pull the weeds because doing so risks uprooting wheat. The harvest will reveal who is what. This requires patience and trust in God’s timing—hard things in an instant-gratification culture.

            “Trust the Farmer: God sees the whole field even when we can only see a few rows.”

            Real life tie-in: Instead of launching social or relational “revolutions” against people we dislike, we can steward patience, pray, and trust that God knows the full story.

            3. Our Job Is to Grow Fruit, Not Sort People

            We are called to produce love, joy, and peace—fruit that serves others. When we focus on our own growth, we become people who attract God’s work and model kingdom living.

            “You are not the world’s judge—your job is to grow, to bear love, joy, and peace.”

            Real life tie-in: Join small groups, find mentors, and practice spiritual disciplines that help you grow—because transformation is communal, not solitary.

            4. Practical Tools

            A visualization exercise: picture yourself and those you judge as wheat growing together in God’s field, surrounded by the weeds (evil) that entangle all of you. Make a list of people you’ve judged and remember those who surprised you later. These practices shift perspective from condemnation to compassion.

            Practicing This Week: Stop Playing Judge

            • Visualization: When you’re tempted to judge, imagine that person and yourself as wheat plants growing together in God’s field.
            • Make a “Judgment List”: Write the names you’ve put in the “bad” bucket; beside each, note one fact you don’t know about them (or one way God might be working).
            • Grow intentionally: Connect with someone you admire spiritually and ask for their guidance.
            • Small mercy: If safe and appropriate, reach out to one person you’ve labeled and offer a small act of kindness—a message, prayer, or listening ear.
            • Practice presence in communion: Remember Jesus’ presence in the bread and cup as a sign that God is actively growing us.

            Questions for Reflection

            1. Who is a “Gaius” in your life, and what story about them have you stopped seeking to understand?
            2. When have you been surprised by someone you’d earlier judged? What changed?
            3. Where are the weeds (patterns of evil or hurt) entangling your own roots?
            4. What would it look like to trust the Farmer in one specific relationship this week?
            5. Who can you invite into your growth—someone to pray with or learn from?

            Advent reminds us we live between Christ’s first coming and the final harvest. In that between-time, God is patient, persistent, and at work in every life—even those we find hardest to love. We don’t need to be judges; we get to be growers. Trust the Farmer. And remember: God is working with you, and you don’t have to carry the sorting—only the growth.